swanktastic:

adulthoodisokay:

dundle:

adz:

beercheesecasserole:

adz:

one time this nondescript guy came into my dunkin donuts and ordered a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot, and for some reason that peculiar order stuck with me so much that when, seven months later, i saw him in the parking lot walking towards the door, i quickly made a small black coffee with blueberry flavor shot. he ordered it and i was already holding it. 

i would describe his demeanor that second time as “incredulous”

What the fuck who drinks that

it’s such a perfectly bonkers order because like, most unusual orders are maximalist and sugary but this one just combines the most basic drink with the most incongruous little add-on. it’s the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him

this post always makes me laugh. this guy has the weirdest drink order and he probably never goes to this dunkin’ if it took seven months for the barista to see him again. so think about a coffee shop you go to so little you’re not even sure if you’ve gone there before and you walk in and the barista hands you the drink you were about to order before you even ordered it. he will remember that for the rest of his life

“it’s the order of a simple, regular man who has something wrong with him” gets me every time.

I HAD THIS MAN TOO

(via you-had-me-at-e-flat-major)

daithpiercing:

once i was at the philly museum of art and a security guard saw me looking at this sculpture that is just a head of romaine lettuce tied to a block of granite with a piece of wire (sculpture that eats by giovanni anselmo) and he was like. i’m here sometimes when the lettuce guy comes in to change the lettuce.

(via letter-from-the-refuge)

florfering-deactivated20211029:

romanroyalty:

tumblr should remove the sign up and delete account buttons. no one gets in, no one gets out

(via cass-thetic)

looz-y:

osunism:

tenaflyviper:

rinlockhart:

kingdomheartsddd:

painisthecleanser:

sasukehateblog:

softurl:

adataraxia:

tinydickhaver:

elphabaoftheopera:

unicornfan:

akiraita:

undrjoyed:

analienorsutin:

gunpowderandspark:

turtle-powered:

gunpowderandspark:

thisisdefinitelyacreativename:

gunpowderandspark:

gayantivan:

gunpowderandspark:

We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

• If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.
  

or

• It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.
  

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful

Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.

if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.

We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.

Two old favourites:

“Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)

and the horse dildo that was passed off as someone’s arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)

This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.

Rare blue watermelon

That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair

How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain

soap makes water molecules smaller

I nominate the “we are killing the earth” picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012

the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar

“Tequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you like”

that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him

that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus

The two way mirror

“listen here, cumslut.”

I can’t believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.

I can’t believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.

that time when everyone praised this guy on facebook for being a Nice Guy, despite how he literally stalked this girl in college and at restaurants. called the girl a bitch for not accepting his advances.

(via officialtrashcant)

flugelwhisper:

I saw Adam speak once at a conference. This was exactly what he said in his keynote speech 😅

lgbtunis-moved:

executed publicly in king arthur’s court for referring to the lady of the lake as a MILF

(via racetrak)

defectivegembrain:

vinceaddams:

“lives in my head rent-free” is such a strange expression. Does anything in your head actually pay rent?

the little mouse who lives in my frontal lobe is my only source of income

(via i-wanna-do-something)

biopower:

biopower:

microdosing vitamins

(via heart)

(via elder-schraderham)

ammoniababy:

lol at the guy who eyed me up at the liquor store

sir I’m just here to fuel an addiction

reeferfox:

Felt cute might distance myself from everyone idk

(via wild-penguin)

renegadereshiram:

i was inspired

(via flugelwhisper)

(via carrie-fister)

murakel:

gretchensinister:

Giving someone six geese (a-laying, and thus in full protect-the-nest mode), much less SEVEN SWANS, does not seem to me, to be, per se, an act of true love

(via we-were-angels-once)

nicollekidman:

my toxic trait is carelessly getting dressed in front of open windows because if someone wants to look in, that’s their problem

(via broadwaypunk)